


Of (endings and) new beginnings/Part 2

by Eriathalia



Series: Changes [8]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Attempted Mind Control, Canon-Typical Violence, Description of Injuries, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mention of torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, side pairing Finn/Poe mentioned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-05-27 08:30:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6277186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eriathalia/pseuds/Eriathalia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Falling into the hands of the First Order after he flees from base once more, Luke's fate is uncertain. It is upon Rey and her friends to find him before it's too late and ultimately find a way to end the war.</p><p>This picks up right after "Of endings (and new beginnings)/Part 1, telling what happens after Rey’s and Luke's reunion with the resistance, shifting the focus to more than just Luke and Rey.</p><p>Can be read as standalone piece.</p><p>[Story is on Hiatus for now. I sadly don't have the time for writing at the moment]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short summary for those who skipped part 1:
> 
> During their training on Ahch-To, Rey and Luke fall in love, forming a tight bond between them over the course of the months.  
> When they finally return to the resistance base they are first met with Finn and Poe, who seem rather accepting of their relationship.  
> But when Leia finds out before they have the chance to explain, she accuses Luke of being a traitor out of shock and disbelief.  
> In a blind move of panic, Luke flees the base once again.

Deep space is dark, cold and silent. It has been so very long since Luke had been out here all by his own. The absence of his beloved burns in his heart like a raging fire, almost bringing tears to his eyes. He regrets leaving her behind so suddenly. Compared to his lifespan they had only been together for a short time. But even these few months had altered him just as much as the greatest fatalities he had managed to survive in all these years before. She was ultimately the one who restored hope into his heart and tore him away from his feelings of self-loathing. Was it too late to return?  
His sister's reaction had been a shock to say the least. As much as it was foreseeable to Luke, that Leia would be far from pleased and shun him, he did not anticipate the actual force of her outbreak upon accidentally discovering his secret. It was the exact reason for the reluctance to make his presence known.

When Rey kissed him on the airfield to calm his nerves, neither of them had thought the general, so well known for constantly brooding over charts and new tactical strategies, would leave her office for once and find them, granting them no chance for explanations.  
If only she had given them time, listened to their story, she might have been able to understand, maybe even forgive him.  
But she had condemned him straight away, accused him of taking advantage on an innocent woman entrusting herself into his care. She even went as far as to ask him, if he was unable to do anything except ruining lives--of all the Resistance fighters by leaving them to their fate without care, all the younglings he failed to protect, and even their father, whom he could not safe. Her words where highly unfair, spoken in the heat of the moment and soon to be at least partially regrettet, but that didn't make the hurt she caused fade into nothingness. In fact it was all it took to tear his heart and spirit apart. Driven by blind panic he ran, left behind what had--until that point-- kept him going, actually posing as a reason to live.

But as soon as the adrenaline wore off, what was left to him was a feeling of emptiness and a yearning for his beloved. Even if Leia and most on base might hate him eternally for his decisions, there was still someone waiting for him, their connection strong enough for her calls to even reach him across the distance. There's no anger, only genuine concern and the wish to have him back in her arms safely.  
He had to return, set things right, for Rey’s sake. For once running away would not do. If his young lover could keep her promise to be with him, come what may, he could do the same, just as he was able in a time long past. After all, didn't they deserve a piece of happiness?

However, as he is programming a way back to base, he senses another shift in the force, sending chills down his spine, bringing forth a suffocating feeling of dread. Luke knows the signature. He has been in its presence before, has seen it thrive as its bearer’s powers developed. And he was there when once bright eyes turned cold. He will never forget the hatred in them as the young man's hands took down his students one by one, while he lay on the ground, barely conscious from agony coursing through him due to the countless wounds littering his body. He never knew if Ben--no, Kylo Ren--had spared him consciously, or merely failed to note he was still alive in his angry rampage.  
Luke wants to believe that, after all that happened, there is still good in the boy, just like in his father before.

It takes but a moment more until his path is blocked by a giant destroyer, making his blood run cold. He had seen enormous ships before, but the vessle which is hovering in space in front of him makes what the empire posessed seem like the toy fighters he used to play with as a child.

*Identify youself, pilot* The voice across the communication system is stern, devoid of any emotion. He doesn't know how to answer.  
*I repeat. Identify yourself.*  
“FN-1563, I am on a cargo mission.” He remembers how Poe and Finn had told him about their escape from a similar destroyer and the codes with which the troopers are all referred to. “The ship carries supplies for the nearby outpost” It is a sorry excuse of an answer. Luke curses himself for the lack of knowledge about the developments in the galaxy. No tactical plans, no information about enemy bases, nothing to grant him a fair chance of not being discovered. He can merely hope it was good enough nonetheless. 

*Negative. There are no transports scheduled in this sector*  
The next thing Luke knows is losing control over the fighter as he is drawn in to the enemie’s ship, helpless, silently awaiting fate to strike yet again.  
Even though he is powerful in the use of the force, with his nephew on board and no weapon to defend himself, he is likely to meet his end for good. There simply is no way someone as powerful as Ren could ever not notice his signature being closeby, no matter how hard he attempts to disguise it.

As soon as his ship is set down in the hangar, he is grabbed from the cockpit and restrained, crying out in pain as his shoulder is almost dislocated by his arms being wrenched back roughly. It is true he could fight back, but without any plan it seems futile. If there is one thing that the past has taught him, it is to be patient. The artificial hand to his right is just one of many constant reminders outlining the consequences of rushing into a fight headlong, mindless, and unprepared. Thus he decides to wait, endure whatever these men may have in store for him. 

He is lead along sterile corridors, half dragged, half shoved whenever his steps falter. It all ends in a circular room with a strange, chair like construction in the middle. Luke is pushed back against it, soon bound by metal clenches, fixated to the point of complete immobility. Quietly he waits, his thoughts wandering to his beloved, trying to find her in the endless depths of space, only one thing in mind: to tell her he is sorry and that he will always love her, no matter what will happen to him, even if he won't be able to return to her.

His eyes are closed tightly as tears threaten to spill from them. A fine mess he has gotten himself into. It brings forth even more memories, drowns him in his past failures until his breath comes in short, ragged gasps, his hair and clothing clinging to him, soaked with sweat. How could he have been so incredibly foolish, fleeing right into the arms of their enemy. It is as if he has presented the Resistance on a silver tablet, and with it his sister, his frieds--at least that was what the pilot and formed trooper had made him feel like-- and most of all, his fiancé.  
No, he has to stay strong, fight off whatever foul trick the First Order might come up with. He will not forsake those counting on him again, no matter the cost. It is what he owes them.  
Taking a deep breath Luke slowly calms down, setting himself into a state of deep meditation, erecting his mental shields to their former strength.

He doesn't notice the doors behind him sliding open at first or the steps approaching in a measured, military pace. His eyes remain closed, even as the person that entered comes closer, circling him like a predator his helpless victim. A gust of air hits his face now and then, probably evoked by the swishing of a cloak. 

And then there is a hand on his throat, choking him, anger building up already, as Luke refuses to acknowledge the other one. He doesn't need to look, being able to recognize the aura anywhere.  
The voice that speaks his name is warped, distorted, so very close to what Lord Vader had once sounded like under his mask. It startles him ever so slightly.

“Look at me” The hiss comes out threatening, challenging. “Luke Skywalker.” His name is spat out in disgust. The boy must have aged, Luke thinks, but his temper never faded, leaving him as much of a danger as an easy target for suggestions. If only he had taught him better while he still could. Now all he can do is pick up the pieces. The outcome, however, is yet shrouded in darkness. 

He opens his eyes and is met by a mask, completely covering the features of the man he once knew.  
“Hello Ben” He replies, his bright eyes and voice calm, a soft smile on his lips, not betraying the turmoil inside him.  
For Rey, he recalls, fighting down his fear, ready to face the demons from his past.

As the other’s fist hits the side of his skull, he blacks out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luke gets the bad end of things in this chapter. It's not overly explicit, but certainly unsettling. 
> 
> Those who are triggered by mentions of torture and descriptions of injuries are definitely advised to skip this chapter.

Waking is nothing but a haze to Luke this time around. A wave of nausea hits him as soon as he moves his head to the side, his skull feeling near bursting. He groans. His throat feels dry and parched, almost sore from overuse. He cannot tell how long it has been since he was captured by the First Order. All he can remember is an ocean of pain and his voice breaking after too much screaming. His body feels like one single, huge ache, every breath he takes burning like fire in his lungs. There is something sticky covering his forehead and right side of his face. Blood, he thinks.   
The metallic taste in his mouth and soreness of his tongue imply, that he must have bitten it hard enough for the skin to break at one point, probably to keep in more noises of agony.  
Wearily he opens his eyes a crack, hoping that whatever guard they have posted nearby will not notice and thus grant him a few more precious moments of recovery.

The lights are dimmed, almost too dark to make out more than shadows. Or maybe it is just his vision being blurred after receiving several hits to his head. There are a few blinking light, controls as he assumes. A presence to his right tells him the exact position of the guard. A weak signature in the force, but still a threat in his current state.

Luke concentrates, willing the pain to ebb away. He has done this before, lacking any help during his time on Ahch-To. Pretending he never contemplated stepping off one of the cliffs would be a blatant lie, as well as saying he never sustained any injuries during his vicious, punishing training.

Carefully he assesses the damage done to his body. A severe concussion, telling by the headache and nausea, at least one cracked rib, bad brushing all across his frame, as well as countless cuts and abrasions. His left leg feels strange enough, numb in its current position.   
It takes all of his willpower to not cry out as he tries to move it. A dislocated knee, probably caused by a furious kick against the joint. It only makes the situation worse, disabling him to move at even an remotely fast pace, if at all. 

The whizz of the door behind him makes him tense up immediately, a very uncomfortable feeling given his injuries. Ren’s aura fills the room like a suffocating wave of thick smoke, stealing the remaining air from his system, added by a crushing sensation, a vise-like grip, grinding his bones to dust. He is the epitome of danger and Luke his defenseless prey.

“Wake him” Comes the command, the voice warped once again by the mask.   
A rough shove to his side makes him wince and open his eyes. The guard must have poked his sore ribs with his weapon.

The masked face comes close to his own, the emotions unreadable behind the black shield.  
“Had a good rest?” Ren mocks and closes his right hand around Luke's throat.   
“I have been told you are a defiant man, uncle” the grip tightens, making the older man feel dizzy from the lack of oxygen. Nevertheless he answers in a cracked voice, a slight smile on his lips.  
“Thanks to your hospitality, Ben”  
A slap hits him hard in the face, making his already bruised cheek burn.   
“That name” The deep voice snarls “Is a ghost of the past. Ben Solo is dead”  
“And yet he is hovering over me.” The answer gains him another angry hit, making his ears ring and the world fade for a few seconds.  
“Insolent fool!” The words sound like thunder, but Luke doesn't flinch. He will not grant the other the satisfaction of showing fear.   
“The last Jedi. You will suffer and then you will die. A very slow, painful death. I will tear you apart, limb by limb” The malice in the younger man's voice startles Luke.   
“And to which circumstances do I owe the pleasure?” A hand tightens in his hair and draws his head back. He grits his teeth, refusing to make another sound.  
“You will lose that smile soon enough, Jedi.”  
It takes a moment for Luke to regain his composure as strong hands wrap around his wrists in a bruising grip.  
“But first you will tell me everything.”  
“E-everything?” Luke presses out “You will have to be more specific, Ben.” He hisses in discomfort as the hands tighten further.   
“You know exactly what I mean. Where. Is. The. General. You know where she is.”  
“You mean your mother.” He gasps as he feels his skin tear under the pressure on his wrists.  
“She is not my mother.” The boy is on the verge of a snapping. Luke can sense it in the shift in the force, like a singing heat surrounding him. But he will not falter now.  
“You're in denial Ben.” He searches for the other's eyes under the mask “You're still attached to her”  
“I AM NOT” Ren screams out, his anger burning like a bushfire. His hands cramp up even more and with a crunching noise Luke's artificial wrist snaps, the delicate parts giving in to their fate, making wires and sharp edges of broken metal stick out in all directions.   
His other arm feels numb, the damage yet uncertain. Luke doubts he will be able to use the hand for a long time to come. Hanging limply in the chair he decides to give in to the impending oblivion once again.

***

Rey can sense it, a light fading in the distance. Where there had been the tiniest glow in the back of her mind reassuring her that Luke was still alive, there suddenly is nothing but a void, and it breaks her heart.   
“No…” She shakes her head in desperation “NO!” She cries out, evoking worried glances from her friends.  
“Rey? What is it Rey?!” Poe’s face is hovering over her, Finn right behind him, eyes huge and scared.  
“Luke” She whines.  
“Did something happen to him? Rey! Please” The pilot seems as scared as Rey feels.   
“I don’t know.”


	3. Chapter 3

Rey paces back and forth impatiently, the expressions on her face changing as fast as her emotions. She doesn't know if she should be crying or raging or jump right in to action, maybe even be frustrated because of him leaving in a rush. She needs to find him, before it's too late, though she cannot be certain what happened to him at all, the only clue something went horribly wrong the loss of their connection. Only she doesn't know whether it is due to an increased distance between them--they have never been apart since she stepped onto his island--or because he has been caught. Something tells her it is the latter.  
“We need to do something!” She exclaims.   
Finn, who had been deep in thought till that moment, almost jumps out of his chair. “W-What?” He blinks.  
Rey grits her teeth and crosses her arms. “Luke! I need to find him. What if he got caught. I can't sense him anymore.” She slumps onto the bed, almost sitting down on Poe who had been laying on the soft mattress and barely manages to roll aside before he is half crushed.  
“Careful princess!” He sits up and places a hand on her shoulder.  
“We do not know for certain. Maybe he just found another island and will contact you in no time.” He smiles, trying to reassure her.  
Rey shakes her head. “No. It felt as if his light was swallowed whole. As if someone took him down.” She hides her face in her hands, her words muffled “I’m scared. What if we'll never see him again?”   
Poe's arms wrapped around her, one hand rubbing her back soothingly. “Commander--Luke is strong. Have faith.”   
She sniffs “I want to believe you. But with the First Order out there...he doesn't know any tactical positions.”  
Poe humms, rubbing his chin “Maybe...but how are we supposed to find him? We have no clue where he has gone to, no directions at all. The galaxy is too huge to blindly start searching. You know how good he is when he doesn't want to be found.”  
“We cannot be certain of that. I know...I just know something is not right”   
Finn sits down to her other side, wrapping an arm around her back as well, chin resting on her shoulder.   
“Then we will go and search for him.” He says, full of determination. It surprises both Rey and Poe.  
“You have a plan Finny?” Poe asks.  
“Well...shouldn't we be able to track his general course? Surveillance must have kept track on all vessels nearing or leaving the planet. It should at least give us rough directions”  
The pilot nods. “True. But where to go from there?”   
“Do we have a chance to determine whether enemy ships have come close within the last day?” Rey asks.   
“To determine if Luke could have been intercepted?” Poe rubs the back of his neck. “ It's worth a shot, I guess. But…”  
“But what?” Rey huffs, turning to him abruptly enough to push Finn off the bed. The former trooper rubs his aching bottom with an annoyed murmur.  
“Sorry Finn” She gasps and reaches out a hand to help him up.   
“No worries” he grins “I’m not that fragile” He slips back into his former position.  
“Now, Poe” Rey fixes the pilot with a stern gaze “You have an objection?”  
“Yup.” That gains him a momentary death glare “The general.”  
“Hm? What about her?”  
“We need her clearance to leave or…”  
“Or she will fry us alive for stealing a shuttle”  
“Or” Rey adds “She will be grateful to have her brother back if we succeed. She may be a brilliant strategist and seem as cold as a block of ice, but she loves him. Her overly emotional reaction was not based on hatred alone. I could feel it, deep down below.” Rey leans forward, head lowered, and sighs.  
“Are you a psychoanalyst no--ah!” Poe massages the back of his head, right where her smack had hit him.   
“No time for jokes, Dameron!”  
“Aww” he pouts. “No extra points for the attempt to cheer you up? You're so cold-hearted”  
“And you are a silly idiot” She smiles anyway. Poe laughs and pets her back.  
“Ah well, when did we ever play by the rules? Let's do this!” His grin is both daring and mischievous.   
“A change of attitude, all of a sudden?”  
“Hey! That's called spontaneity!” He winks.”What about you Finn? You're in?” “You bet” He rubs his hands, the cheeky grin on his face easily rivaling Poe’s “The darn best pilot in the resistance needs his gunner, right?”   
“That’s the spirit” The pilot hugs them both, making them gasp for air.

And then Rey doubles over, shaking like a leaf.   
“Rey?!” Both men fall to their knees beside her. “What is it Rey?!” Finn rests herhead in his lap and throws the other a worried look.  
“Luke” Her voice is weak, her eyes unfocused.  
“Yes? Can you sense him? Is he alright?!”   
Rey shakes her head weakly and croaks “Pain...He’s in so much pain.” She cries out, shaking her head furiously “God no...it's him” She covers her mouth with her hands to muffle her sobbing.  
“Who is it? Rey, please! Stay focused!” Poe leans over her, gently holding her tear stained cheeks. “Who has caught him? It's not too late. We can still find him. We can safe him.” He tries to reassure them, to keep up hope, though a deep feeling of dread is already settling in his heart.  
“It's Ren.” Rey swallows thickly around the lump in her throat as she can feel more than Luke's comforting warmth bleeding across their bond, clouding it in darkness.  
“He’s stronger than before. He--I think he broke Luke's barriers.”  
“Impossible!“ Poe protests. Master Skywalker is the most powerful man I ever met! A brat like this-this...monster” His hands ball into fists in resentment “He could never break through to his core. He can’t...never”

Every fibre of her body aching, Rey sits up slowly. “We need to hurry. Time is running out.”  
“Alright” The shock is still evident in her friends’ faces, but they help her get to her feet.   
“Can you make out his position?”  
Rey nods. “I should be able to. He’s...it seems as if Luke us calling out to me.”  
“He knows of your connection, it's likely he will try. You're -We’re his only chance.” Finn and Poe exchange a quick glance eyes over her head, seemingly coming to an understanding.   
“Let’s go then.” With a wave of her hand, Rey calls two lightsabers to her side and does them away on her belt. “We will needs this.”  
“Yes.” comes the simultaneous answer of her friends. “We can do this.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren "interrogates" Luke, temper tantrum included.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for violence in this chapter. (We're still talking about Kylo Ren here)  
> Luke reaches his lowest point in this one.   
> Please skip it if you're triggered by the topic.

His body feels on fire, every fibre screaming in protest as soon as he tries to move even an inch. There's a bright light above him, blinding even through his closed eyelids. He has lost every concept of time and space, his mind a muddled mess, his thoughts in a complete disarry.  
And yet a chill runs down his spine as he can once more feel the presence of his nephew closeby. There's another one too, one he hasn't been aware of before. Their voices seem agitated, just as if they were caught up in an argument.

“...Stop your foolish games and finish him off…”   
“No! I have waited too long to catch him. He will suffer first.” The warped voice of Ren answers.  
“Remember, Master Ren” the other man’s voice is full of spite “What happened to your last...guests”  
The next thing Luke hears is a crash, followed by a pained groan.  
“Know your place Hux”  
“That’s general Hux for you” There are more groans as the man falls prey to another of Ren’s outbursts.  
“Careful Ren” The general wheezes “You might be in over your head...not that it surprises me” He manages to shove the knight away and makes his exit, the irregular sound of his steps implying he is limping.

Luke can sense Ren’s attention shifting towards him, his other subject out of reach now. He circles the Jedi, heavy boots making clicking noises on the ground.   
Suddenly a hand closes around his neck--again, he thinks, gasping for air, his lungs protesting under the additional strain.   
“You will tell me all you know.”  
“At least look me in the eye when you're talking to me” Luke presses out. His head is shoved back against the headrest.   
“Your remarks will only gain you an even more painful death, Skywalker”   
“And your mind tricks don't work on me Ben. Face me like a man. Or are you scared?”  
“I AM NOT SCARED OF YOU” A punch hits Luke's chest. He cries out, feeling another rib crack.   
“Y-you will never be like my father. Y-” He coughs, a trickle of blood running down the corner of his mouth “You’ll never be like Vader” Ren’s anger is building up, it's all around them, making the air bristle with static energy.  
“And do you want to know why? Because he was a good man!”  
“LIAR” His vision fades for long moments as Ren tears him from the bindings, careless if he will do even more damage to the already severely injured man, and throws him against the wall across the room. Luke lies still, not a single muscle in his body obeying his will to get up and flee. He can hear the other man’s mask being placed aside before dark eyes come into view as he is hoisted up by his lapels, feet dangling helplessly above the floor.   
“Let’s see if you're still as strong after I tear your spirit into shreds. Slowly, until nothing is left of you.” With every word his mad grin widens. Pressing Luke back against the wall with one hand, Ren uses his other to grab the Jedi’s face in an almost bruising grip, the tips of his fingers boring into Luke's check and temple.  
“Now...what do we have here?”   
It's like someone is piercing his head with a saber, an unbearable agony, as Ren forces his way into Luke's mind. No matter how strong the Jedi master might be, his weakened state makes his resolve falter bit by bit, exhaustion slowly taking over and proving this fight futile. Finally, after long minutes of struggle, he breaks, though the finishing strike never comes. Instead the hands loosen, letting him slip to the ground in an ungraceful heap.   
“Interesting. The great Jedi Master is in love. Disgusting old man! She could be your daughter!” Ren kicks his stomach, but Luke is too weak to give any kind of reaction. “So lonely, so desperate. Did you pay her? What was her price? Or did she pay you with her body?” He looks down at the broken man to his feet. “Whatever it was, I will make you watch as I crush her. And then you will follow.” The laughter that follows is cold, appearing completely inhuman. 

Unable to move, Luke watches him leave, tears soon forming a small puddle on the ground.

His mind is racing, questioning all that he has come to cherish. There is a voice accusing him, telling him that Ren was right, that he used Rey to fulfill his base needs and she only oblieged in exchange for her training. Could it be the truth in the end? But what of all the other moments, swimming in the ocean, laying entwined on the beach to let their bodies dry in the sun? The way she looked at him, so sincere, so full of love? Or how she had granted him insight into to her deepest secrets an he enclosed his own to her? He refuses to believe it was all just a farce, meant to use him and then toss him aside.

And still, as he fights to regain enough strength to hide somewhere, anywhere, his spirit is too broken to discern right from wrong, plunging him into an ocean of despair.


	5. Chapter 5

He doesn't know how long it takes him, but somehow Luke manages to get to his feet, his knee revolting with every step, his shoulder leaning heavily against the wall for support and breathing comeing out in ragged pants, the metallic taste of blood still on his tongue. It takes all of his self control to not emit pained whimpers with every further step he takes. Ren’s arrogance of thinking he has broken his former master enough to render him helpless and therefore in no need of a guard to watch him, gives him an actual chance to make an escape. In some ways it is disappointing, that the man, whoonce was his beloved nephew, never learned to not underestimate his adversaries. Luke thought he had taught him better.  
He hopes the blood on his clothes has dried enough to not leave any stains which would give him away as he advances painfully slow. His only chance is to buy time, pray that despite all his doubts, Rey will come for him.  
A small airshaft close to the ground to his right catches his eye. It would be cramped at best, but maybe a chance to evade the troopers long enough to gather some strength--or for someone to rescue him.

Ren’s words are still ringing in his ears, feeding the malicious voices in his mind attempting to crush any faith and trust he has managed to rebuild in the last few months.  
Gathering all of the strength left in his body, he pries open the grid and slips into the shaft, hiding in it’s shadows. It is only a question of time till Ren will notice his escape, even more enraged about his men not watching out carefully.  
Indeed his whole escape seems to be way too easy. Or the First Order was nothing but a fine example for lack of brains after all, though that would be a contradiction to their success in taking over or destroying more and more worlds.  
Settling into the tiny space he tries to relax, raising his mental shields to block out any sign of his whereabouts. 

The sudden howling of sirens startles him. He can hear bits and pieces of agitated chattering, an announcement to be aware of three intruders, one female, two males, one of them a deserted Stormtrooper.   
Luke's heart skips a beat as a familiar presence brushes against his own spirit, searching for him.   
/I’m here...follow my voice...please.../

Rey stops in her tracks, whispering “Luke...” A hand closes around her upper arm, dragging her along the barren corridors in a mad chase.  
“Why did we set off the security alert again?” Poe complains.  
“Hey! It wasn’t me who crash landed our ship in the hangar!” Finn protests, his face taking on a pouty expression.  
“I couldn't anticipate they would launch a fighter the exact moment we made our approach!”  
“Oh right. They just kindly left the door open to welcome us! You have any idea how to explain this to the general? ‘Sorry ma’am, we borrowed a cargo ship for some sightseeing trip and got busted by the First Order. By the way, we found your brother. Hope you don't mind us losing the vessel?’ Great idea!”  
“Guys! More running, less talking”   
“Says the one who thought it nice to stop and have a look at the architecture” the pilot retorts, already slightly out of breath.”I was born to fly, not for running! “  
“Can we discuss this later, please? Stick to the plan!” The annoyance in Rey’s tone is evident. It doesn't keep Poe from throwing in more complaints anyway.  
“We have no plan. And what we had was busted like two minutes ago!”  
“Would you just stop whining Dameron”  
“All business now, missy?”  
“You bet!”  
They tumble to the ground in a heap as Finn tackles them down in order to evade the fire of blasters right behind them.  
“Stop bickering, both of you” They nod guilty, all the while getting back to their feet as a group of Troopers advances on them.  
“Follow me!” Finn motions to his right. “We need to set a trap”  
“Good answer captain obvious. And pray tell us how we do that?” Finn rolls his eyes at his friend's question. “How about you trust me for once?!” They take a sharp turn around the corner.  
“I always trust you!” Poe ducks under another shot from a blaster. He sounds almost hurt by the other’s statement.  
“Boys!” Rey warns and throws them a death glare.  
“Alright, alright. We’ll behave. Right Finny?” The former Trooper nods.  
“Over here!” They take another sharp turn before he drags them through a side door, closing it swiftly behind them.

“Where are we?” Rey whispers insistently, casting her gaze around the room, filled with countless pipes of different sizes.   
“It's part of the ventilation system. Something like an access point for repairs and controls and stuff” Finn scratches his cheek. “I was never big on tech.”  
“And what do we do now?” Poe inquires, arms crossed over his chest.  
“We do the cliché thing and steal their uniforms” He raises a hand as the pilot is about to interrupt him “I am not keen on wearing them either, but it's the best shot we have, after a certain someone ruined our stealth mission”  
Thy both let out a pained gasp as Rey grabs and twist their ears “Silent you childish fools!”  
“Damn missy, you sure are a tough woman” Poe rubs his aching ear, trying to dull the pins and needles sensation.  
“Could we concentrate now, please? Luke is somewhere on this ship. And he’s in a bad condition.” It is obvious she feels on edge, the sharp tone and impatience a proof of her being afraid she may be too late. Her eyes darken at the thought, face falling.  
Finn places a hand on her shoulder. “It's not too late. If half of what I was told is true, he is strong and cunning enough to survive.”  
“I hope you are right Finn” Rey brushes away a tear. The former Trooper nods.  
“I am certain. Trust him.” Rey smiles weakly and nods.

Sudden footsteps outside their room make them hold their breaths for a moment.  
“Here we go” Poe mumbles. “How many are there?”  
Rey closes her eyes and concentrates. “Four of them. I can sense them clearly.”  
“Perfect!” the pilot raises his voice “WE ARE SCREWED! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!”  
“Poe” He only winks and grins. It takes a handful of second for Rey and Finn to catch up on his intentions. “THAT’S ALL YOUR FAULT, DAMERON!”  
“YOU INSISTED TO COME HERE! DON'T BLAME ME!”

The door is pushed open forcefully. Before the first trooper knows What’s happening he is out cold, slumping to the ground. The others soon follow.

“Idiots” Rey shakes her hear. “To fall for such an old trick.”  
“That only shows our Finny is a real exception to the rule in more than one way.” He gives the other man an affectionate slap on the shoulder.   
“You are so very charming, Dameron” The other retorts flatly.  
“Keep you flirting for later. We have a task at hand” Rey starts to strip the first Trooper off his uniform, not noticing the secret glances her friends throw each other, nor the slight pink blush around Poe’s nose. 

Short time later has a group of three Troopers marching along the corridors. To their surprise the disguise is sufficient to fool their enemies, their lack of sensitivity to the Force preventing them from sensing any anomalies. It is not long before they come to a stop in another deserted hallway.  
“He’s here” Rey mumbles. “I can sense him close” 

She isn't aware that frightened eyes are watching them from the shadows.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey finally finds Luke again.

Luke's heart is hammering wildly in his chest as he sees the white boots of a group of Troopers nearing his hiding place. They were so close, way too close for his liking, way too likely to find him and take him back to his captor. In his current state he is not certain if he could live through another round of Ren's prodding and warping his mind until he can hardly tell good from bad, truth from lie. The only think keeping him going is the hope of seeing his beloved again, and if only for one last time, of telling her once more how much he loves her.

It pains him how his control has slipped right through his fingers. Once he was known to be one of the most powerful beings in the galaxy, but now he feels like nothing but a frightened puppy cowering away from it's aggressive owner. How it has come so far he doesn't know. Maybe the experiences during his long years had worn him down, barely ever granting him refuge before fate would take what he had come to love away again and again and again. And yet he hadn't lost his ability to trust another completely, even thought that finally his ordeal had come to an end the moment Rey told him their feelings were mutual.   
Their first kiss has ever since been his most cherished memory.

But nothing of it matters in this moment of pure torment.

Frantically he lets his spirit wander, searching for his mate on this godforsaken ship. And then his eyes widen, recognizing how close she is. As if a dam had broken he senses it, her signature right in front of him. Could it be? How did he not notice it before. Were his senses so dulled by Ren's torture that he couldn't even tell an unimportant appearance from the one of utmost importance? How pathetic. 

/Rey/ he wordlessly calls out to her, nothing but a disembodied voice.   
/Luke!/ comes the immediate answer, followed by a hopeful flare washing over their bond. /Where are-?/ She stops, furious that she had been too blind to grasp the solution earlier.   
Slowly she kneels down and there he is. 

Throwing caution to the wind Rey takes off her helmet, finally meeting the eyes of her beloved, tears welling up in her own as she takes in his appearance, the majority of his injuries still hidden in the shadows.  
A hand clasps over her mouth to stifle a desperate sob.   
"Luke..." She hiccups "What have they done to you?"

As the tears begin to run down her cheeks freely, she removes the grit and reaches out to him.   
Luke tries to take her hand, but let's out a pained gasp as soon as her fingers close around his broken wrist, which by now has taken on a dark purple color. The rush of adrenaline had made him forget the damage inflicted on his body for a while, but now that it has worn off it is hard for him to tell if there is even one part not aching anymore. Gathering his last bits of strength he drags himself out of the vent, though he is unable to get up on his own, laying curled up on the cold floor instead, the full extent of Ren’s treatment revealed by the cold neon lights. 

It takes all of Rey’s self control not to hunt the fiend down that instant and paying back all he had done to the one dearest to her heart. However, it is not the time for thoughts of revenge, nor is it the way of a honorable Jedi. She refuses to give in to these urges, for it would not set her apart from the man she so despises. To think that he was once the son of their late friend Han and the strong and proud resistance general with the sharp tongue, but secret heart of gold, is hard to take in for her.

Carefully, mindful to not hurt him even further, she wraps her arms around him, cradling him against her chest, nose buried in his hair.  
“I got you now” she mumbles “I will make sure that-that...monster cannot reach you again.  
Luke clings to her weakly with his human hand, the other hanging limply by his side, his eyes empty and unfocused. 

“As much as I hate to disturb your reunion, we have to get out of here!” Poe's voice sounds almost rueful despite the insistence. He is well aware of how important their physical connection is after the older man’s ordeal, but at the same time staying would endanger all of them.   
A cold shiver runs down his spine as he remembers his own captivity, as well as everything he had to endure by the hands of Kylo Ren. The way his friend of old appears to him now makes it clear how lucky he himself had been, escaping with nothing more than a few bruises.

Swallowing around a lump in her throat, Rey nods.  
“Here, I will carry you” She shifts to lift her lover up into her arms, but he stops her, shaking his head tiredly.  
“I’m too heavy for you. Please...just end this here” His breathing comes in shallow pants, his broken ribs making it almost impossible to inhale deeply.  
“What do you mean Luke?” She asks, desperation quickly building up once again.  
“I’m glad I got to see you one last time” He brushes his fingers across her cheeck, his hand shaking uncontrollably. “Forgive me, Rey…” His eyes are bloodshot as he meets hers “I wanted to be yours but…” his hand slips from her cheek to his chest as his strength falters.   
She shakes her head vehemently “You're going to recover. We haven't come so far to lose you now. I won't let it happen!”  
“ It’s too late. I...will always love you…” His eyes close as he goes limp against her.  
“Luke? Luke!” It is all it takes for Rey to break down, burying her face in his hair as sobs wreck her body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *the author runs off into the distance laughing like a madwoman*  
> I'm not sorry at all about the cliffhanger. *insert more evil laughing*


	7. Chapter 7

Whatever happens next is nothing but a blur to Rey. She vaguely remembers being hunched over Luke's motionless form, crying and shouting his name, searching for any possibility to keep him in this world.  
Even though his eyes had been dulled and broken, there was still the hint of a will to live in them as a soon as they meet her own, suffocated only by the lies which Ren's intrusion had planted in his mind.

At one point Poe had grabbed her arm, dragged her down the hallway. Even then she refused to let go, carrying Luke in her arms, staggering under the additional weight.  
There were noises, the voices of her friends, the quick patter of footsteps, the electric whirring of blaster fire mingled with the sound if sirens, angry shouts and harsh orders.

She lets herself be lead, only holding on to the last spark of light she can feel across their bond, vehemently refusing to let it slip away. It is a piece of hope to turn the tide yet again. Rey picks up bits of her friends arguing about which ship to take, how Poe wants to get another TIE-fighter, while Finn opts for something bigger. Telling by the cramped up space she soon finds herself in, Poe won. It doesn't matter to Rey, her focus solely turned on the man in her arms.  
She might have to ask them about the details later. 

Miraculously they make it out in one piece, no matter how unlikely it seemed. Maybe it was luck, maybe fate or the Force truly being with their cause. It is of no consequence for the moment as she passes out, her mind wandering to a place between reality and dream.

***  
Rey blinks her eyes open slowly and sits up. Her head is spinning and she brings a hand up to her forehead in hopes of stilling the vertigo. A cold gust of air makes her shiver. Carefully she gets to her feet, swaying for a moment as her legs feel unsteady. Something shifts and the world around her falls into place, soft greens covering wide hills, spotted by thousands of tiny flowers. There is the sound of waves wafting over from the distance, the air bearing the scent of the ocean. There is a bright sun above, warming her back and granting her a feeling of relaxation which she had only ever known own during the time on Ahch-To. Overall it is a beautiful place, one she would love to stay at. Only peace and beauty, no war, no fights, no sorrows.   
I the distance she can see the silhouette of a man against the blue sky. Rey breaks into a sprint, quickly catching up to him. He catches her in a warm embrace, his lips finding hers in a rush of joy.

“You came” His smile is blinding, the clear blue eyes sparkling with happiness. He looks younger, far closer to her age, his hair a dark golden color instead of the usual grey. There are no lines of worry on his face, only two dimples whenever he grins at her, his spirit shining brighter than ever before.  
“Yes” She answers and engages him in another kiss.   
“We can stay here” he whispers “We can finally be happy. Come” he takes her hand and leads her down to the shore, all the while talking of the beauty this place posessed and how he came to find his peace here. The happiness he exudes is intoxicating, silencing every reasonable thought of helping her frienss, not letting them down. Why should anyone exchange a place as close to paradise as this for a galaxy wrecked by war?

When they reach the shore Luke is the first to slip out of his clothes, neither ashamed, nor shy of his own physique. His skin is smooth and glowing in the sunlight, unmarked by the traces of fight. He is slim, but well muscled all the same, almost statuesque as he stands before her eyes. His right hand, Rey finds, is no longer the cold metal of his worn and poorly cared for prosthetic, but instead a real human one. Indeed this version of her lover must be close to who he would have been if fate and his ancestry had not drawn him into a fight of opposing powers. Yes, this Luke Skywalker was a sight to behold, and her stomach makes several somersaults, as he closes in on her, hands brushing through her hair lovingly.  
“I have missed you so much my love” He nuzzles her cheek gently. “I have waited for so long, hoping that you would come to me, to be the man you deserve, whole and sane, not broken by time and war.”   
His hands loosen her buns one by one, then slip the grey vest off her shoulders.  
“Won’t you join me in the water. It is warm and pleasant” The hands wander lower, caressing her flanks. Rey closes her eyes, lets herself be overtaken by the feeling of soft skin against her own. There is desire and love, trust and a hint of lust. 

Only when his fingers brush up the the inside of her thighs, lifting one leg up to wrap it around his hips, his arousal evident between them,his lips and tongue leaving a moist trail along the line of her neck, she snaps out of her trance like state, images of her friends rushing by, reminding her that this peace is nothing but a farce.  
The war isn't over yet and her friends need her as much as she needs them. No matter what promise lies in front of her, it has never been in her nature to take the easy way out. They have to go back and end what began long before she was even born. It was their destiny, bringing peace to a shattered galaxy. It is what brought her here in the first place.

“Wait.” She breaks the contact with a lot of difficulty, everything inside her demanding she give in to passion.   
His face darkens “Why? Is this not what you want? Am I not what you want Don't you love me anymore?”  
“I do” She brushes his lips lightly before stepping back again.  
“But you are not the man I have come to know. You are beautiful and close to perfection, but I would rather take my imperfect Luke.”  
“Why?!” He demands, taking a step forward “I changed for you and you alone. Why would you prefer that broken shell? He is damaged beyond repair, not worthy of your time or attention!”  
Rey smiles sadly “It is what I love most about him. All the blemishes are witness of what made him the man I fell in love with, no matter the age, or the scars or the insecurity. My Luke wouldn't be who he is without all of it.” She brushes his cheek with the back of her hand “Please, give him back. Let me take him home. Our friends are waiting. Our family is waiting.”  
“Are you certain?” The younger Luke's eyes bear a deep sadness now “This might be our own chance to live in peace for the rest of our lifes. There is no going back”  
“I know” She brushes a strand of hair from his face “But what I want and what is right are two different things. Where there's hope, peace and happiness may blossom if given good care. It is worth all hardship, for what is won the hard way is so much more precious than anything given without achievement. It is an idealistic value, but it matters to me. And so do my friends and everyone in the Resistance.”  
“I see” The apparition begins to fade, gradually turning translucent “You are wise, dear child. May the Force guide your way to a better future”  
The world around her crumbles, leaving nothing but darkness and a small light closeby. 

When she reaches it this time, she is greeted by familiar blue eyes and a face painted by the toils of life. But it is unmistakably the one she has been searching for. As his arms wrap around her, she returns his gentle smile.  
“You found me…”  
Rey nods. “Let us go home”  
“Yes...”

And so the darkness makes way for bright neon lights as they finally open their eyes again.


	8. Chapter 8

The bright lights above are blinding when he finally opens his eyes, the remnants of their shared vision still at the back of his mind. Luke can already feel the beginnings of a severe headache building up, but it isn't more than a small nuisance compared to the overall aching of his body. And yet he is alive, despite being certain that his hour had finally come after all these years of hiding away, hope changing into despair and back again as a certain young woman came to his island and won over his heart. That she would actually go through the trouble of retrieving him from the clutches of the First Order and his nephew after he had left her behind in a rush of sheer cowardice, amazes him.

Wincing slightly he reaches out blindly, searching for her. He can sense his beloved close, but his mind is still too foggy to make out the exact location. As a soft hand finds his own and squeezes it lightly he smiles for the first time in what feels like ages. It is strained, but also genuine, his eyes lighting up as a familiar face comes into view, lips curled up at the edges.

"Hey" Rey's voice is quiet, almost meek, but also contains innumerable unspoken emotions.

"Hello" His throat still feels sore, the words raspy and barely audible. It causes sadness to creep onto her features.

Luke tries to raise his other hand to her face, but grimaces as he sees the damage done to it from the corner of his eye, the metal of his prosthetic crushed and twisted by Ren's force. For a brief moment he wonders why they did not take it off completely, the worn item no longer being of use and beyond repair. He pushes it back for the time being.

Reading his intention Rey places her free hand against his cheek, mindful of a dark bruise coloring the spot a nasty purple.

The are unshed tears in her eyes. She blinks them away quickly, willing herself to calm down in hopes of not worrying him further.

"I am so sorry" she whispers. Luke merely shakes his head, then hisses as the world around him begins to spin immediately.

"Careful!" Rey grabs his shoulder in a steadying motion, though the effect is barely noticeable due to the fact he is already laying down. Nevertheless it has a comforting feel to it.

"You saved me..." He takes a shuddering breath, his lungs burning, probably thanks to his cracked ribs. "Why?"

His question saddens Rey deeply. She lowers her head and answers "Isn't it obvious? I love you."

"Even though I ran away?" He isn't able to meet her eyes again, instead watching the blank white wall across the room.

"It doesn't matter. You were scared and hurt" Rey sits down on the edge of his bed.

"That doesn't give me the right to hurt you and then bring you into grave danger" There is a deep bitterness in his tone, which makes her sigh in both frustration and worry.

"Luke…" Her hand brushes his cheek. He recoils, no öonger feeling worthy of any tenderness she may bestow upon him.

"Please…" She wants to reach out again but is missing the courage.

"Why did you not-" He bites his bottom lip.

"Why did I not what?" She tilts her head to the side in confusion.

"You saw it, didn't you?"

"What do you mean?" Rey crosses her arms, watching him intently.

"You could have had a better life with a young man, not this old and broken excuse a human being. Don't you see? You should have left me there! And when you had the chance to follow that other me you refused. Why? WHY!?" Luke is panting by now, his vision blurring as his agitation aggravates his injuries even further. "Why did you not let me go?" He rolls to his side, ignoring the searing pain coursing through him and curls into a ball.

"You are not broken. Not to me"

"How can you say that?" It is spoken barely above a whisper.

"Look at me!" Carefully she takes his shoulders and turns him back. "Don't say that. Don't do this to me, I beg you." As he is forced to look up he can see the streaks of tears running down her cheeks, her face the epitome of desperation. "I know you want to live. I felt it. Don't deny it." She leans down. Their noses almost touching, lips only a breath apart.

"Not if it means condemning you to...to…" His voice breaks "To a life with this" he motions to himself. "There is nothing left to love" His eyes squeeze shut tightly as he has to fight back tears of his own, her vision weighing too heavily on his conscience

"What has Ren done to you?" She brushes a strand of hair from his face, fighting down her raging emotions of anger, hurt, helplessness and a tinge of anger.

"Too much...and too little."

"Too little?" It comes out as a shocked gasp "

"He should have finished what he begun" Luke emits a dry and defeated laugh "But maybe that was too much to ask. How much he must despise me. I never noticed until it was too late. I could have saved him, could have prevented his fall. I could have prevented Han's death or that of my students or Leia's pain and the destruction of SO MANY INNOCENT SOULS! IT IS MY FAULT. All my fault..."

Rey cringes as his voices first raises and then drops to a tired whisper, the sound of a man giving up on life after all. She shakes her head decidedly.

"You do not bear the burden of this universe on your shoulders. It is not fair!" The last part comes out pleading.

"There is no way to redeem myself Rey." He sits up slowly, face contorting in agony, but he grits his teeth, not allowing himself the weakness of giving in to the need of easing the pain. Gentle arms wrap around his back, attempting to offer support. He wants to shake them off but lack the strength to do so. Instead he mumbles "How can you even look at me? I'm a disgusting coward. Ren was right."

Rey wonders what exactly the knight had told him, what damage he had inflicted deep down in her lover's soul to break his spirit in a way that seems impossible to fix. Maybe she will find out,but she is aware it will take a long time, month, years, maybe even decades. And there is the possibility, almost certainty that some of it will never be undone. Still she refuses to let the anger flaring up inside her heart cloud her judgement. No matter how long it will take, what it will take, she decides to take on the challenge, for the sake of the one who had changed her life to  the better.

"There always is a way" She kisses his forehead compassionately "We can do ."

The air is crushed out of her as he clings to her with his left arm, the only one he has still use of. The strength behind it is astonishing, given the state he is in. His breath hitches, sobs breaking from his lips as them dam breaks, washing them both away in a flood of anxiety.

Rey can make out shards of sentences, telling her it is wrong, that he isn't worthy of her empathy and care, that he is nothing, worth even less than the dirt she is walking on.

Her answer is silent at first as she draws back far enough to touch their lips together. And he answers in kind, greedily like a drowning man gasping for air.

Drawing back again she whispers in his ear "Let me show you how much I care, why I chose you over a vision, why I chose to live, with you"

It is all he can do to nod, his eyes pleading to make him believe once again.

There are plush lips on his neck, nuzzling the tender, heavily bruised flesh gently. She brushes the loose hospital robe from his shoulders, baring his chest, now heavily bandaged and covered with bacta patches in several places. Ever so softly she trails kisses down his shoulder and to the spot right above his heart, showing neither fear nor repulsion, only deep feelings of affection.

As all strength leaves Luke and he slumps back onto the mattress, shaking from another wave of emotion. There are fingertips running down his arms and sides, leaving a tickling sensation on his marred skin, tracing the scars littering his aging flesh, both old and new alike, as if to map them all out, taking them and everything else into detailed memory. He tenses under the touch, afraid she will recoil from him after all, recognizing what a damaged piece of goods he truly is.

It is not that he wishes to be so distrusting, but he cannot help it, Ren's poisonous words still so very clear and tangible in his memory it is hard to believe that even his lover's intentions are of an honest nature. And yet he feels wanted all the same, arching up against her palms as they caress him all over, their warmth dulling the aching in his limbs to a slight throb and finally granting him some semblance of reprieve, if only for a short while,even making feelings of passion stir in his heart. But is not the time or the place for this. Still the memories of their time together drive the ones of his capture to the deepest depths of his mind, making way for the tentative flickers of happiness and light after being caught in the dark for way too long.

He can feel her hot breath against his ear as she whispers once more "I would like to go further, be yours completely like I used to be, but we will have to wait for a while longer. I would not risk hurting you even more. But…" She hesitates for only a moment, less because she is not sure of what she wants to say or if she wants to speak up at all, but rather out of uncertainty how to make him understand and actually believe it, though she can see the hints of a flush in his cheeks at the meaning of her words, which gives her confidence she is indeed on the right path.

In the end Rey opts for the blunt approach. "Marry me Luke, as soon as you are out of here."

His eyes fly open in surprise, seeking out hers to search for any kind of uncertainty or deceit, but what he finds there is only honesty. There is no way to misinterpret it, no matter how loud the voices his ordeal has planted in his head scream 'lies'.

Carefully, he lets his damaged spirit wander, tapping into their bond to show his understanding as the lump in his throat makes it impossible for him to speak.

Rey understands it anyway, opens up to him and is rewarded with a feeling of warmth and safety which she had been sorely missing ever since he had fled her side.

Slowly she sinks onto the cot beside him, curling around him in a protective embrace. As he rests his head against her chest, listening to her slow and steady heartbeat, she senses that despite all his renewed insecurities he is willing to take yet another chance at living by her side.


	9. Chapter 9

Luke is not certain how long sleep had sleep claimed him this time when he next opens his eyes again. Overall his life seems to be reduced to a succession of sleep and waking and aching all over. But this time there is something different, a warm sensation wrapping him up like a soft blanket would, a silent and sure presence keeping him from drifting back into the darkness his captor had instilled in his mind. For once he feels safe, a feeling he had missed for what appears like an eternity.  
Tentatively he stretches. It is far from being comfortable, but to his relief he notices that it doesn’t cause the usual agony, which had been a constant companion for the last weeks, either.  
“Awake at last?” Comes the soft question near to his ear and the breath tickling his sensitive neck makes him shiver slightly.  
Luke cranes his neck, searching for the source of the sound, and finds his lover smiling at him softly.  
“How are you feeling?” There is still a deep concern in her voice, though her face does not betray these emotions.  
“I felt better but…” He returns her smile reassuringly “A certain someone made sure I am in a good way now.” It makes her face lighten up instantly. Her shifting indicates she wants to hug the life out of him but holds back for the sake of not accidentally re-opening one of his wounds, which are undeniably still there. Instead she kisses him gently, the sweet brushing of lips quickly turning more passionate as he tries to make up for all the time lost, putting in all his love and joy and gratefulness while still keeping it chaste in any other way.  
“I love you, Rey” He gasps as they finally have to part for air. Luke has longed to say it ever since she had found him cowering in the air vent, but had been too afraid to be turned down, for what he saw in himself by that time had been nothing more than a damaged old man with nothing left for her to love. The thought--no,certainty--that Rey found beauty when looking at him even so, made clear with every word and caress, brings fresh tears to his eyes.  
Luke still feels undeserving of it all,but if it is her conscious decision, he will accept it all the same.  
“And I you” She slips back into place beside him, one hand lazily draped across his side. “I missed this.”  
“Hm?” He raises an eyebrow but smiles gently, the familiarity of their closeness comforting to him.  
“These quiet moments between us.” The hand tickles his side and he squirms.  
“Me too” Luke catches her hand with his own and laces their fingers. “Thank you for not giving up on me. I certainly did”  
Her face saddens immediately. “I could never, not like that. And neither should you.”  
There is a hint of guilt on his features. Rey leans in and kisses his cheek “It’s not too late to set things right”  
He wants to reply but is cut off by a firm knock on the door. In answer to his questioning look Rey merely shakes her head, telling him she didn’t expect anyone to find them. Instinctively she holds him just a little closer, offering silent support.  
“Come in!” Luke finally calls out.

As the door opens his heart skips a few beats as it is neither one of the medics, nor one of their friends standing in the doorway, instead revealing the general herself. In some way it saddens him that he is no longer able to think of the woman as his beloved sister, but after all that has happened in the past years and especially given recent events, he feels that the feeling of trust between them has subsided to a state of almost not being there anymore.  
Forcing himself to stay calm--though Rey can feel his whole body tensing up at the sight of the older woman--he asks “General. WHat brings you here?” His voice is flat, nearly cold, just as his gaze.

To Luke’s astonishment there is a hint of hurt on her face, as if she had hoped he would admit her in better spirit. However, with the spiteful words spoken as he needed her support the most,he cannot quite bring himself to feel sorry, even though it is a contradiction to his usual nature to take any kind of pleasure in another’s discomfort. Maybe another effect of Ren prodding and twisting his mind.  
“Luke--” He cringes at the use of his name and slinks back as the general slowly advances on them, wary of what the woman might say or do, even a little afraid to be torn apart by venomous words again. 

“I am…” It is all too obvious how his sister was rarely ever a woman of comforting words, the neverending war having turned her cold and stoic.  
“Yes?” There is still not a trace of emotion in his tone, his eyes meticulously following her every move.  
The general lowers her head in defeat, her own voice coming across as barely above a whisper, strained and yet to his utter surprise sincere. “ I am glad you are alive. And I am sorry” She doesn’t meet his eyes and Luke can sense her exuding fear of being rejected, knowing that he has any reason to.  
“You almost broke me” He didn’t mean to accuse her like this, but it is the truth and he cannot hold it back.  
“I know.” She turns to leave, shoulders slumping in defeat as she feels the last of her family breaking apart.  
“Wait!” He calls out, raising his human arm, but not being able to reach her from his position, only now taking note that Rey is still with them, has heard and seen the whole exchange. Luke hopes she will not think badly of him for speaking the bitter truth instead of simply pretending it had never happened.  
“What else is there to say?” The general replies, words heavy and sour on her tongue.  
“That I forgive you.” He can hear her gasp, not believing her own ears. As if caught in slow motion she turns, eyes wide and frightened. “What?”  
“I forgive you, Leia” He holds out his arm. “And I am sorry.”  
It takes long moments, then she finally sits down on the edge of the bed, wrapping him up in her arms.  
“I missed you” She whispers.  
He has to close his eyes against the tears welling up in them. “I missed you too” And he finds that he actually means it.


	10. Chapter 10

Rey shifts besides them, preparing to get up and grant them some time alone, but Luke stops her with an almost pleading glance. It is only then that the general even takes notice of her. The older women flushes embarrassedly, not being used to showing any affection in public.  
“I...should go. Tactical meeting, you see?” She stammers, though Luke sees right through it.   
“You’ve never been a great liar” Slowly he sits up against the headboard of the bed. “Will you leave me again so soon?” There is a certain disappointment in his voice, even if he tries to keep it a bay.  
“I don’t think I should be here.” The general fiddles with the hem of her jumpsuit in a clear display of nerves. “The two of you were certainly having a...moment” There is a hint of betrayal in her voice, even though she attempts to fight it down, knowing very well it is unjustified.  
“I am here to…” Rey contemplates her words carefully before going on “because that is what family does. And you belong here as well.” She meets the general’s eyes, willing her to accept the offer  
“I am not so sure if I still deserve it.” Lead turns to leave but is stopped once again by Rey’s soft spoken words.  
“You do not have to leave” she replies and gives the older woman another shy smile, the proof of her lingering uncertainty as to how to behave around this powerful woman who might soon be her sister in law.   
Finally, after long moments of silence, Leia clears her throat and speaks up again “You do not want me gone, even after-” She is cut off by both Luke and Rey shaking their heads.  
“Madame, you were upset, but you are more than forgiven.There is no time to hold grudges”

The general releases a breath which she had not even been aware she was holding. “You overwhelmed me. I didn’t expect to--I am not even sure what I expected” she watches her feet forlornly.  
“How could you have known?” Rey offers. “It is not something I expected either when I left to find your brother--Luke” Instinctively she wraps an arm around the older man’s shoulders, either to silently mark her possession, or in a show of affection and protection. Probably all of it to a certain degree.   
“Then how?” It is clear that Leia is still uncertain how to process the truth she is presented with. In her dreams she had often envisioned how it would be to see Luke again, how she would catch him in her arms and tell him how much she had missed him. Sometimes, in times of great toil, she would imagine being angry, telling him how foolish and selfish he was to leave them behind, other times she would think about how she would tell him it wasn’t his fault, that no one held him accountable for the deeds of her son--the notion is bitter and heavy on her mind--and how even he couldn’t have foreseen it. Finally it would all end with them going back to the way they had been before everything had fallen apart.

The thing about imagination however is, that they can be as far from the truth as the both of them had been apart been for all these years. Still, not all of it was his fault alone.  
It brings her to grudgingly accept, that she has failed as a mother, has not given her son the support he had needed, always planning on the next counter strike, setting the boy aside for the purpose of winning the war. And over it all she had not seen how he broke under the weight of his abilities. She had seen a bright child, exceptionally talented, athletic, intelligent and gifted in the ways of the Force beyond anything she would ever be able to achieve.   
Secretly Leia had hoped Luke would be able to replace her in her duties towards the child, had often enough seen Ben’s smile whenever he sat on her brother’s shoulders or showed him a new trick he had figured out by himself. Always by himself...   
The weight of that fact only now becomes clear to her. She had assumed her boy was content, but in the end he had inherited the ability to shield his true emotions from the prying eye, just as she herself had done so many times, just as Luke did ever since he found out about their father. 

In retrospect it was unfair to expect that Luke would bear the burden neither she, nor Han had been able to take. Maybe her brother could have been the guide that Ben had needed, but not with his attention being drawn away by his other students. In this her own hopes and wishes had interfered with his, resulting in him being hurt, thousands of innocents killed and her husband dead. 

Her face must have darkened enough for Luke to pick up on some of her thoughts.  
“We all have our share of responsibility in this” He draws her back in, rubs his hand over her back in a comforting manner.  
“Did he do this to you?” She whispers against his chest, but it is clear she already knows the answer.  
“Yes…” It is more a squeak than a real answer, his helplessness and despair making his voice crack even over that single word.  
“Then he is lost for good.” 

The words of a woman letting go of her last hope, the last illusion of getting her son back and setting things right in the end, breaks his heart.   
Luke should think that the young man is rightfully doomed to die, hate him with a passion for all that the boy has done--to him, his parents, the students of his new Jedi order, so many unknown souls--and yet his answer differs, much to his own surprise and Rey's dismay, going by the exasperated grunt next to his ear.

“Hope is never lost, Leia.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the point where Finn and Poe finally get some attention too XD

There is a heavy silence hanging in the air at Luke’s words, caused by both shock and utter disbelief.   
“Do not mock me like that, brother.” Leia’s voice is shaky, quivering with barely held back rage. “Do you even believe what you are saying? You should hear yourself!”  
“General!” Rey cuts in, not certain if it is meant to be calming or rather a warning.  
“Rey.” The other woman retorts flatly, giving the girl a stern glance. “This is a matter between Luke and I. Kindly keep out of it.” She hisses.  
“It is not” Rey crosses her arms in defiance “The moment you threaten the man I love it becomes my business.” She stares right back, the room bristling with tension.

Luke clears his throat, a faint blush still covering his cheeks.   
“Could we all just calm down and discuss this like civilized adults?”  
Rey, who hadn't even noticed she had gotten to her feet until this moment, lowers her head and sits back down, tiredly leaning against his shoulder.   
“You are right. Forgive me” She answers ruefully, smiling lightly as he wraps an arm around her.   
The general however remains hovering above them, lips twisted in a sour expression.   
“Leia?” he asks in a soothing manner.

She takes a deep breath before replying, her face the epitome of desperation.  
“After all he has done...to you, to your students, to countless innocents and…” She hesitates, the memories still too painful, even after so many months “and Han...” Leia’s shoulders slump in defeat. “How do you still think him salvageable?”  
“Because I saw doubt in him. It was nothing but a tiny spark but...I think Ben is still in there .”  
The general buries her face in her hands, hiding the tears that threaten to fall.   
“I wish I could believe you” She sinks back down to the edge of the bed. “He’s all I have left now.

“That’s not true” Luke disentangles his arm from Rey, grasping his sister's shoulder instead. It pains him to withdraw the comfort from his beloved, but given his other hand is still a mess, he doesn’t dare to show it.   
If he had been self-conscious about it before, he now wants to constantly hide away in shame.  
“I am still with you. And so is Rey, if you allow it. And the whole Resistance as well. You are not alone”  
Rey nods in agreememt, placing a comforting hand on her other shoulder. “If you can accept me into your family?” Her clear eyes search for an answer in the older woman’s.   
“I...would be...delighted” The answer is strained, but not lacking sincerity, clear evidence that Leia is still not used to giving or receiving displays of affection lightly.  
It is answered by two bright smiles and another pair of arms drawing her in.  
“Thank you..” Leia murmurs, breath hitching as her feelings take over for once. 

They keep on sitting like this for a long time, talking, for once enjoying each other’s company. There is a feeling of peace around them, one content to be with the ones he loves most again, the other two glad to know the feeling of having a family after a longer time than they care to admit.  
Luke is grateful for it, forgetting all the troubles in the galaxy that are far too tangled in their own lives’ stories. At one point both women drift off to sleep. He watches the with a faint smile, his one good hand lazily combing through Rey’s hair. He isn't certain when he last felt as happy as in this moment, but he hopes it is one of many more to come.

***

Ever since they came back from their unofficial retrieval mission, Finn and Poe had felt rather tense. Finding Luke covering in the air vent, beaten and close to the edge of breaking, had been a shock for Poe to say the least. He had not met him often, but the stories his mother had told him and those clear blue eyes had always held a fascination to him. And after all the last Jedi master was both a hero and a legend, his piloting skills well reknown. In his young years, Poe had hoped to be like him one day.

Rubbing his eyes tiredly, he turns to Finn who is currently lounging on his bed, back leaned against the wall and looking utterly exhausted. Even if he had only ever heard rumors about the older man, finding what was left of his at the time had taken uses toll on him. He has known cruelty in his life, was trained to kill without thinking or asking, blindly following the orders of his superiors, but it was never what he could go through with. Recognizing the ruthless way in which the knight of Ren had handled his own uncle, the man who probably held him countless times as a child, took him in, trained him even, has shown him once again what he never wants to become.   
True, the concept of family or friends had been unknown to him until he met the crazy pilot sitting across the room and following that a cheeky droid and the scavenger girl, but they have turned his life for the better, given him purpose beyond being a mindless killing machine. He is eternally grateful for the chance presented to him, even more so as he watches his friend from heavy-lidded eyes--how soft the dark curls seem to be, how his smile would light up his face, all the tiny wrinkles it would cause.  
The thought alone makes his heart flutter and he is glad that his dark complexion and the dim light are enough to hide the blush creeping onto his cheeks.

“Are you alright buddy?” The pilot's voice startles him.  
“Ah...yes. Of course I am.” His lips twitch in a resemblance of a smile.   
“Really? You don't look so good. Move over dude” With one graceful move--yes, Finn thinks it graceful despite the ugly green uniform his friend is wearing--he flops onto the bed right beside him, even throwing an arm around his shoulders without further questioning. “What's eating at you buddy? Y’ can tell me, y’ know?”  
Poe goes as far as to ruffle Finn’s short hair. “Softer than I tought” the pilot mumbles.  
“What?” Finn’s eyes are wide, heartbeat picking up in speed.   
“Oh...it's nothing” Poe withdraws his arm, leaving the younger man yearning for the comforting weight immediately.  
“I’m worried about you Finn.” The pilot tilts his head to face the other “You seemed distant ever since...you know…” He sighs. “How do you cope?”  
“Honestly?” Finn asks. Poe merely nods.  
“I’m not sure. This cruelty. It was so far beyond what I imagined someone was capable of. And I'm worried about Master Skywalker.”  
“Luke. But yes, I am worried as well. I’ve known him since I was a kid. At least fleetingly. He was my hero.”   
“I’m sorry” Finn replies, rubbing a hand across his arms.   
“At least you're here.” Poe ducks his head.  
“I…” The other hesitates “Yes. I'm with you” he leans his head against his friends shoulder.  
“Finn?” The younger man nods. “Do you…” Poe bites his lip, uncertain how to phrase what he wants to say. Instead he is cut off by the feeling of soft, puffy lips on his own. Humming softly, he closes his eyes and let's himself feel for just a moment. When they have to draw back for air Finn whispers “I know Poe. I feel it too.”  
The pilot smiles and it lights up Finn’s world once more.


	12. Chapter 12

The following days pass by surprisingly quietly, especially after most of the tension had finally cleared away with the siblings finding their peace once again. The general, Rey notices, is a rather kind and patient woman these days, engulfing them with tales from the past which Rey takes in greedily. It feels like acceptance into their family, and it feels wonderful.

Luke has changed as well, the deep lines of worry that had marred his face after his ordeal at the hands of the First Order having mostly vanished, leaving him looking younger than even on the island. She suspects that the uncertainty whether he still had a home and would be welcomed back by what remained of his family had weighed heavily on his shoulders and now dissolves, leaving him free of at least some of his worries.  
He has also become more tolerable about his newly added scars, all the more so as Rey continues to show him he was still adored, hadn't lost any of his attractiveness to her. In fact she can even spot a little vanity in the way he grins behind his hand whenever she goes on another lengthy speech full of praise. It is both endearing and annoying to her, sometimes making her joke about ‘What an idle man she has raised’, though none of them would be able to keep up their stoic demeanor, instead ending up in a laughing heap on the bed.

The only thing still dulling their momentary happiness is Luke's artificial hand, which had been removed for repair, but eventually given up due to the damage being too grave. The technicians and medics had promised to fit him with a new one, but given their meager resources it took a great deal of patience.  
Sometimes Rey would catch him looking at his stump in the wee hours of morning when sleep would evade him. She would then try to distract him, covering the scarred and knotted skin with kisses, often drawing heavy gasps and sighs from him as her lips caressed the sensitive limb.   
The first time she did this had caused him to let out a startled yelp and blush the darkest shade of red she had ever seen on his face, as more than just his heart stirred, his usually impeccable control slipping and leaving him embarassed, mumbling incoherent apologies.   
Rey smiles at the memory, recalling how pleased she had been with the way their need for closeness and comfort had matched in that moment and so many following after. It was never a simple meeting of flesh against flesh, instead encompassing their spirits all the same as they shared their pleasure, not once relinquishing eye-contact.

***

It is one morning while they are sitting over breakfast, that they are disturbed by the chime of the door, followed by two heads popping in without waiting for any answer.

“G’morning sunshine!” Before Rey can even fully register what is happening, she is wrapped into a crushing embrace.  
“Hey Poe” She gasps out and pets his back, once his hold loosens enough for her to breathe again. Her gaze wanders over his shoulder to Finn who is still standing in the doorway forlornly, waving at them, while Poe flops down between her and Luke. The latter throws the pilot a slightly annoyed look, clearly not too happy with being parted from his beloved, and be it only by an outrageous pilot.   
“Come on over Finny” Poe motions him to come closer with a frantic move of his hand. Finn slowly approaches them and carefully sits in a nearby chair, watching the whole exchange curiously, noting the glint in the Jedi master’s eyes.   
“Maybe you’d rather sit with me?” He mumbles, slightly embarassed.   
“Sure Finny.” Within seconds Finn finds himself burdened with a lump of grinning pilot.  
Rey throws the former trooper a grateful glance, leaning sideways to rest her head on Luke's shoulder. She can barely suppress a laugh when the older man wraps his arm around her almost possessively.

“So” Poe grins and plants a kiss on Finn’s cheek, waiting for the shock to set in. Nothing happens.  
“Are you...not surprised?” He sounds almost disappointed.  
“About what?” Rey shrugs. The pilot only points between himself and Finn.  
“That? Well, should we be surprised? I mean” She giggles “It was rather obvious”  
Poe pouts and looks at Luke, asking in a calm tone “How are you master Skywalker?”  
“Fine” The answer is clipped and lacks conviction, but his smile is genuine.  
“Good. We were worried about you” Rey feels her lover's arm tighten around her shoulders, as a darks shadow creeps onto his face  
“I am sorry for causing any inconveniences” He hangs his head in shame.  
“Oh! Oh no, that's not what I meant!” Poe reaches out apologetically, opting to squeeze his hand, but encountering an empty sleeve. His eyes widen in shock while the Jedi recoils.  
“They…”  
“Yes.” Luke lowers his head. “They promised to fit me with a new one, but…” he trails off.  
“Lack of resources” Poe finishes the sentence. The other nods.  
“Damn” The pilot Burts out, almost hitting his friend in the face as he throws his hands into the air frustratedly.   
“Watch it!” Finn complains. Poe gives him an apologetic look. “Sorry darling” It effectively shuts the former trooper up as he ducks his head.   
“Poe!” Finn groans into his back, but looks back up as he hears Luke chuckling.   
“What's so funny?”  
“Nothing at all” Luke replies. “I just think it endearing to see affection bloom even in wartime. It gives me hope.”  
“Old fashioned but true” Poe pats his shoulder. “We will end this war Luke” The pilot's face shows a deep determination. The Jedi disentangles his arm from Rey and covers Poe's hand with his own.  
“I don’t know where all of this will eend, but I am grateful to have known you.”

“Whoa!” The younger man shakes his head in disbelief “You, sir,r need a lecture in thinking positive! We're not dead yet. You know what the resistance has been capable of in the past. We haven’t lost our bite yet!” Finn nods from the background, then slips over to them, holding out his own hand.   
“We can do this!” His look is grim but encouraging.  
“Yes” Rey nods her consent and places her smaller hand on top of his. “We can.”  
She raises an eyebrow at the two remaining men.   
“You bet!” Poe joins them.  
“Luke?” Rey asks, slightly worried.  
“Yes” He squeezes their hands. “We haven’t lost yet.” 

They stay silent for long moments until it's broken by Poe happily exclaiming “Alright guys. Who wants a tour around the place?”


End file.
